What Do I Do?

I took out my “Q&A a Day” book this morning, and the question I flipped to asked,

What do you want to say when someone asks “What do you do?”

Ha!  I’m still figuring that out!  This is the first time in my adult life that I haven’t had a paying job, a workplace to go to everyday…  And yet, “What do I do?” seems even more complicated than ever before.

I’m hoping, soon, I’ll be able to say, “I’m creating a home for my husband and kid to thrive in with love, stability, and joy.”  That sounds like a nice mission statement for a SAHM mama, right?

Although, some days, I’m happy if we don’t have any meltdowns, I catch the poopy diapers before they explode, and I can actually get the kid to eat and sleep on some sort of schedule.  Oh, and get the bottles cleaned before I need one.  And keep the dog and kid apart so there are no nips and growls.  Oh yeah…  And now that he’s crawling and we haven’t quite baby-proofed yet, chase him around and keep him away from any dangers.  And make dinner.  And that pesky laundry…

And still find time to encourage the kid’s discovering of new things, trying new tasks, singing and playing on the floor, reading books (over and over again), tickling and laughing, going for walks or adventures…

And then Hubby comes home…  And we try to have dinner together, feed Sawyer, give him a bath, read to him, and put him to bed…  By the time that’s all done, I’m exhausted.  Normal, right?  I know.  But…  I’m working on finding more ways to be “present” in the evenings, too.  I pictured staying at home as a gift not only to the baby, but also to my husband.  I hoped to make his life easier, too.  And I don’t know if I’m really accomplishing that yet.    We’re still figuring it out.

I’ve always been a homebody – and so far, I really am loving this new job.  I feel like I do pretty well with the kid.  I’m working on maintaining the house in a way that a little gets done everyday – so it never becomes an overwhelming chore.  I’m starting to cook healthy meals again – which feels FANTASTIC!  I’m making our own baby food (which is so fun and easy – and makes me feel like I’ve accomplished something!).  I’m starting to get out more, both with and without Sawyer.

We’re getting there.

What do I do?  I’m creating a home for my husband and kid to thrive in with love, stability, and joy.  The key word is creating.  Meaning, it’s in process.  It’s happening – slowly, with hiccups, and lessons to learn.  But we’re on our way.  And that’s what matters.

How would you answer the question, “What do you do?”  And what is “in process” in your life?  (I’d love to hear other stories of where people are at – and where they’re headed!  Life’s a journey…  Right?)

Chasing

The Daily Question is:  What are you chasing at the moment?

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Hmmm…  I’m getting ready to chase my 6 1/2 month old!  He’s “army crawling” now and able to make his way across the room…  So, any day now, he’ll be on the move!  Getting into things every time my back is turned.  Good grief.  I’m so not ready for that!

But what else am I “chasing?”

I’m not sure…

I think for the first time in my life – I’m at rest for the moment.  And it’s a weird sensation.  

Career goals are on hold.  Vacation and travels are on hold – or, at least, majorly simplified!  The dreams of moving and buying a house are on hold for a few years.  The only thing I can think of that I’m “moving toward” is my weight loss and getting back into healthy habits.  And maybe, returning to my crafty, loves-to-cook self.  

But neither of those goals are being “chased” – just gradually re-entered.

When I think of “chasing” something, it feels like it’s urgent.  It’s needed.  It’s something that you put all your energy towards until you reach it.  There’s a goal that must be met, before you can rest and feel content – or happy, for that matter.

I’m not chasing right now.  Thank goodness.  Life is good.  I do rest (when the kid rests).  And I am content (even as I sit here mid-morning, in my yoga pants and hoodie, no make-up, hair in a ponytail, with cold coffee on the desk and no plans for the day other than crawling around on the floor, reading books, experimenting with peas and apples, and giggling at peek-a-boo!).

And I’m happy.  Very happy.

I’m sure it won’t be long before I have the need to “chase” a goal again.  I think it’s natural and what keeps us moving forward.  But I also intend to fully enjoy this moment – as I don’t think it happens very often in life.  I intend to soak up these days of playing and rocking and singing and reading…  Every minute.  Because one day it will be over…  And suddenly, I’ll be free to “chase” other things again…  

And I’ll miss this.  I know I will.  The simplicity.  The overwhelming love.  The cuddles and wonder.

So, no.  I’m not chasing anything at the moment – and next week, it will probably be the little one.   And that’s ok.  Actually…  It’s so, so good!

What are you chasing at this moment?  I’d love to hear!

Letters

What was the last personal letter you received?

It’s Monday morning, after a long holiday weekend.  The kid was awake at 5:30 this morning…  And I’m not feeling the most inspired.  But I’ve promised myself that it’s time to start writing again, so I found a little help today.  I have a book called, “Q&A a Day – 365 questions, 5 years, 1,825 answers. A 5 Year Journal.”  Kind of fun, and I haven’t even looked at most of it yet.  So I thought today would be a good day to open to a random question.

And here it is:  What was the last personal letter you received?

That one is actually pretty easy.  I’ve been lucky enough to get several over the last month.  You see, I resigned from my job as a Director of Youth and Outreach at  United Methodist Church recently, after ten years of serving a lovely congregation.  With the birth of our son, we decided I would be a stay at home mom – and so, with excitement AND a heavy heart, I resigned from a job that I loved.

As part of my sending-off, the congregation was invited to write me letters sharing how I had affected their individual lives over the years – and let me tell you, I couldn’t imagine a better gift!  The letters are all gathered together in a binder – a binder I will forever cherish.

It’s interesting, how sometimes you’re just bumbling along through this life, thinking you don’t have any answers, only questions…  You’re making mistakes and saying the wrongs things.  You’re feeling unaccomplished and wondering if you’ll ever make a difference in this world…  And then suddenly one person tells you that you made them smile…  Or think…  Or have faith in themselves, others, or God.  

One lady in our congregation suffers from depression and yet, anytime she knew I was preaching she got herself out of bed and to the church.  She said my God’s words, spoken through me, always seemed to be directed into her life for a reason and she always left uplifted, and with a smile.  That alone is worth all the uncertainties I felt in my job.  She’s a woman with a beautiful smile and a bright spirit – and if I could help her shine a little, by golly!  That made me happy.

It will be interesting in this new life of mine…  How will I manage to use my gifts and talents to continue bringing hope, joy, and faith to those around me?  I know it starts with my time spent with my little boy – raising him in light and love.  But where else can I serve in these ways…?  That’ll be my challenge in the weeks and months to come – something to pray about and experiment with.

A new life…  New opportunities…  New challenges…

Maybe I’ll begin by writing some letters of my own!  Who is one person in your life who has made a difference in who you are today?  Write them a letter.  Let them know.  Trust me, it’ll be a precious gift they will always cherish!