Wow. Today on my memory feed on Facebook, a link to this blog appeared. Honestly, I completely forgot I created this blog! I started it shortly after I became a stay-at-home-mom with one little guy…
Life sure has changed!
I’m still a SAHM, but now have a 2.5 year old and an 8 month old. Life is fuller. Busier. More frustrating. Not as rosy. A lot more chaos. A lot more screaming. A lot more “no.” A lot less sleep. A lot less getting done (hence no blogging for two years…).
And I realized today, maybe I’ve allowed myself to fall into a way of life I’m not too keen on living. I look back at those happier blog entries and wonder, “what happened to her?” She was so positive, happy, and full of joy…. These days, I just want sleep. And quiet. Quiet would be nice…
I read those old blog posts at 6:30 this morning. It’s 4:30pm now… The hubby took the kids to play at the neighbor’s house – and I’m taking a moment to myself to put into words what I’ve been thinking all day.
It’s time to start with a clean slate.
I need to find ways to bring joy and gratefulness back into my everyday, every moment… I need to find ways to incorporate peace and stillness, reading and walking back into the daily grind. I need to center myself again.
This parenting thing takes it out of you. Big time. Toddlers take every last morsel of life and devour it whole… Leaving crumbs for you to gather in their wake.
Not anymore. Mama’s taking it back. (Not sure how, yet, but realizing how far I’ve strayed is a start!)
Maybe we’ll start here. Let’s re-write that 3rd paragraph:
I’m still a SAHM, but now have a 2.5 year old and an 8 month old. Life is fuller. Messier. More unpredictable. Not as quiet. A lot more giggles. A lot more singing. A lot more snuggles. A lot less nights out. A lot less projects. But more reading books. More building blocks and knocking them down. More pretending. More trying new things. More cheering and screaming with delight. More splashing and spraying. More garbage trucks, diggers, firetrucks, and lawn mowers. More “Good morning, Ruby” and “Please and thank yous.” More dance parties and singing in the shower.
Life is good. I just need to pay attention to ALL of it.
So here’s ten things I’m grateful for today, in this moment:
- Hubby took the kids for a walk = Quiet.
- This blog, and the reminder that it exists. The reminder of who I was.
- Sunshine after a storm.
- Sawyer, the 2.5 year old, loving “parfaits.”
- Ruby, the 8 month old, trying to pull herself up with such determination.
- A four day weekend with the hubby home.
- Decorating the house for the 4th of July with Sawyer, and adding decorations to his little kitchen.
- Library visits.
- Sawyer trying to help me pick out sunglasses. (He picks up the gaudiest ones there, and says, “Here Mommy, these would look soooo pretty on you!”)
- Naps. Long naps.